two fell swoops

On the wall at my polling place today:

Sorry for the blurriness of my phone’s camera with the low light.  If you can’t read it, I’ll tell you it’s one of a few mock advertisements that some kids were allowed to put on the wall behind the voting kiosks at the Ann Arbor Community Center.  The kid who is imploring us to vote for him in this ad is named Darius.  Here are some highlights:

• he (Darius) will build security robots and hi-tech security lasers
• his two vice presidents well (sic) help you with the law
• we will help bring alien civilization to earth
• he will lower everything that is expensive
• good stuff well (sic) be
• if you vote for Darius all your dream will come true

On the left is something about school being fun, but I can’t make it out, and I left without reading everything, trusting that my phone had captured it.  Did anyone else see the poster?  Or can anyone figure it out from the picture?

Notice also the boringly familiar campaign promises about global warming and gas prices mixed in with Darius’s promises about alien civilization.  Interesting too that some of his more outlandish promises map pretty neatly onto the promises of the more well-known Presidential candidates.  I leave you to figure out what it all means.

And special thanks to the guy in front of me in line for noticing the poster.  We joked that Darius might just receive three write-in votes from he, his companion, and I.  And by “joked” I mean - seriously considered….